Few people have had such a memorable onscreen dance as Elaine Benes to Seinfeld. In the iconic fourth season episode dubbed “The Little Kicks,” Elaine makes a gesture at a corporate party – much to the horror of her coworkers.
This wacky dance wasn’t the only time Elaine got her groove on during the series, however. In fact, she was quite the engine and the shaker throughout the sitcom’s run. That doesn’t mean she was all Well to dance, just that she seemed to do it often.
But that was in the 90s. Today’s most notorious bad dancer is President Trump. Her movements are sometimes eerily similar to Elaine’s and appear at the most unexpected times.
We just had to pit these two together in one Mandatory dance battle. Let’s see who’s the worst dancer – Elaine or Trump?
Footwork
Elaine twists her ankles so much, it almost looks like she’s double-hinged – or bends them in directions they weren’t meant to go. Trump rarely gets involved in the dance; everything revolves around the arms for him.
Winner: Elaine
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Hand movements
Elaine goes beyond the hands of jazz. Hell, her hands are practically the driving force behind her dances. Trump only has one hand movement – the Double Fist, Man-Baby Cabbage Patch.
Winner: Elaine
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Hair
Hair has a lot to do with what makes a great dancer, and Elaine simply has more to do with it. It really adds to the visual appeal of his dance. Trump’s hair just makes us think of dead animals and does nothing to improve his performance.
Winner: Elaine
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Rhythm
You don’t even have to hear the music to know Elaine can keep a beat. Trump does not appear to us as a music lover. He drinks at his own pace, which is about as sophisticated as a children’s song.
Winner: Elaine
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Slow dance
Elaine is too much of a force of nature to dance as a couple on slow jams. Trump, despite (or maybe because of) his weight, is superior to slow dancing.
Winner: Asset
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Recoil factor
Sure, a middle-aged woman going wild at a corporate party gives us pause, but there’s something really terrifying about an old white man trying to get discouraged.
Winner: Asset
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Frightening
Go on. No competition.
Winner: Asset
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Fog
When Elaine dances, people stop and stare, speechless. When Trump dances, people bow their heads and quietly step back.
Winner: Elaine
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Sexual appeal
Uh. We know. No one wants to think of Trump having sex, but if this GIF is any indication, his moves have attracted the attention of the opposite sex in the past. The same can’t be said for Elaine. Guys mostly seem to be afraid of her after seeing her dance.
Winner: Asset
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Variety
Elaine has seemingly endless dance moves. She can channel all dance styles, like this flamenco-like number. Trump’s dance repertoire is very limited.
Winner: Elaine
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Enjoyment
Elaine knows how to let go. Joy radiates from her when she dances. Trump always looks stiff, like he’s moving too much he’s going to poop himself.
Winner: Elaine
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Overall winner
We could watch Elaine dance all day. Damn, if she was a real person, she would make us go out on the dance floor and do the most awkward choreography we could find, no shame. Trump’s attempts at dancing just make us sad … and a little sick to our stomachs. So when it comes to which of these two is the worse dancer, declaring a “winner” (who really is the bigger loser) is easy.
Overall winner: Asset
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